NoiseDraft: Tech we’d integrate into our clothes

Welcome to another weekly episode of the NoiseDraft, a completely made up mock draft for your reading pleasure. Each week the topic changes and each week the selection order changes. Feel free to continue the draft in the comments below! Just remember, once something has been chosen, you can’t choose it again!

This week we’re gadgetizing up our gear by thinking of cool and exciting technology that we would like to see in our clothes of tomorrow. Tron Guy? So passé. The future threads of tomorrow are right here in this post!

1. Ron

Shirts that get people to stop bothering me with all their problems. Or pants. Or a hat. Whatever, just stop with the bothering. Isn’t that called being in the nude?

2. Kevlar

Sunglasses that displayed smartphone data, in a jet-pilot HUD sort of way. Time, texts, emails, tweets, etc. Just on the fly, not basing the entire phone out of the glasses.

3. Gonzo

A heliocopter hat, that you could use like heliocopter. Like Inspector Gadget.

4. Steven

Underwear that converts your excrement into bio-energy that can wirelessly charge the gadgets you are carrying around with you. Oh, it also comes with a built in Huggies baby wipes apparatus so it will keep you clean and fresh.

5. Alberto

It’s summer time in NYC, that means jungle weather and cramped public spaces with little ventilation – looking at you MTA. Anything that will keep the funk off of people, like funk killing bacteria or something. ANYTHING!