NoiseDraft: Apple’s October 4 announcement

Welcome to another episode of the NoiseDraft, a completely made up mock draft for your reading pleasure. Each draft the topic changes and each week the selection order changes. Feel free to continue the draft in the comments below! Just remember, once something has been chosen, you can’t choose it again!

There’s a big announcement by Apple on October 4 and people are going bananas over it. Every hint points at the next iPhone, but what will it look like? Will there be more than one? Is it coming to Sprint? Is there more to all this than we know? We have this feeling that the iPhone announcement will be accompanied by something magical and revolutionary and we have a few ideas as to what else might be revealed on Tuesday.

1) Steven – iBorg

Apple will announce iBorg, the ability to immortalize yourself by transferring your consciousness to an Apple device. Steve Jobs will provide a live on-stage demonstration

2) Ray – iDontgiveashit

Apple will probably announce a new iPhone, but it will be just barely better than the current one, not worth buy, but people will because it’s shiny and has a partial eaten fruit on it, and I don’t give a shit.

3) Ben – iDrops

You probably enjoy your music, but have you ever really EXPERIENCED it? Drawing from his experiences in the 1960’s, Steve Jobs’ final gift to this world enables you to see sounds. iDrops are a new nano liquid technology, then when squirted into your eyes, creates an intense visualization for all the tracks in your iTunes library

It’s basically LSD for your eyeballs.

4) Alphonse – iPhone X

I think they will release an iPhone. I just think they will call it the iPhone X. Cause Apple seems to be obsessed with skipping over a few version numbers and straight to X. OS X was a normal jump, but look at QuickTime (from 7 to X), look at Final Cut (from 7 to X). I wouldn’t be surprised if Dimension X is invading and Steve Jobs has Krang living in his tummy.

5) Horatio – iPod

I have a few sources in the industry that are telling me that Apple will be launching a product that completely revolutionizes music. It will fit in your pocket and you will be able to load thousands of songs on it as MP3s from your computer. It will have a screen with a click-wheel navigation system and is aimed at putting the Walkman and discman industries out of business.